What is time anyway?
[Everything between July 01 and the day of publishing this]
Data
Books read since last update: 6
Books on currentlty reading shelf: 20
Attempts at reflection: 17
What is a reflection anyway
I was awake 3 hours prior my usual time, giving it my all to go back to sleep. And when it did not arrive, I pretended it was an outcome of a shorter but restful night of sleep. There is a lot of happiness in pretending.
Changes are sometimes seldom, the lens is only a week. Here is a list of a few big, a few meaningless movements in my life these last few weeks:
- My sister Rh has left Goa for a new adventure. This has now begun the first of a new normal. It has also given me an opportunity to abandon my daily morning cup of latte and switch to black.
- My regular crossword habit has somehow left my system. The NYT Games subscription continues, however,
- In the last week alone, I have walked 1,00,000 steps.
- I met my dear friend Pra by sheer coincidence of us being in Gurgaon (the cesspool of capitalism) at the same time. We talked so much that we disturbed all the tables around us. She noticed. I noticed. But neither of us knew how to stop.
- In Chiang Mai last year, I had a terrible carbonara pasta that made me agitated at the restaurant and ruined carbonara for me. Recently in Gurgaon this was fixed. It wasn't perfect, but it was nothing like the disaster from One Nimman Road.
- Someone sat in my living room, at night, while it rained outside. I saw his head turn slowly from right to left, back sometimes, soaking in the home I built piece by piece with all my heart poured into it. He'd been there before but that day he was observing it alone. He took a beat, then shared that he found my home to be beautiful. In that moment, previous and recent passing comments on my apartment were bandaged.
- I comfortably asked for money that was due to me. I still don't expect to receive it, but I asked for it.
- There were many cold moments in a cold friendship.
- Prawn pickle is one of my favourites, and I finished a small jar in this period.
- A new friend brought me some home made tomato thokku.
- I visited a beautiful new library.
- I wrote a birthday letter to a friend.
- Every single expense of that last few months had been noted. I know exactly who I am, what I spend on, what is acceptable and what needs improvement. To my surprise, one of my most balanced expenses has been on coffee, my hobby of cafe hopping. What I assumed was a problem area is now more acceptable for me to spend on. Finally, math is helping me.
- I feel a little adrift.
Music
I created 3 playlists on Spotify.
First demands of the radio - A charming playlist that was created when I was preparing for a drive of 2 hours. I wanted to be reminded of my 16 year old self, one who heard Linkin Park's best and most beloved album (Minutes to Midnight) on the radio and believed Twilight (the movie) was incredibly cool to have "Leave out all the rest" on their soundtrack (it was incredibly cool).
Rhea and Nats left home alone - An iconic playlist that is singularly about nights where Rhea and I had dance parties at home, while our parents went out for social engagements. My favourite memory of this time is the most painful one for Rh. She was dancing to a song, in cosy socks. With excitement rising, she kicked her foot forward for a dance move, and immediately slipped on the socks and fell to the floor. I can probably relive that fall for the rest of my life.
Old casettes from the 90s - There is a vague memory of my childhood where Lucky Ali's "O Sanam" plays on tv and I learn what it means to be swayed by a song. This playlist is centred around that time.
Culture, you say?
I am not following any tv show these days. I have not watched many movies in this time. In the last few weeks, I have not read many books. Only Murders in the Building has returned yet I have not watched the new season (I feel as though I should only see it on my tv at home, in my jammies, with my water bottle). Maybe I need the sunshine to warm my face again.
Stay hopeful,
Nats