State of Nats

The State of Nats #4: It is here again

[Week of June 01, 2025]
Recommendation for the background is Give it to me baby

Data

Coffees at airports: 3

Flights taken: 3 Cities: 3

Eggs: 4 (boiled, scrambled)

Books read: 1 Cried while reading: 4 times (twice in a plane, twice in cafes)

Highest steps: 18,000 Lowest steps: 37

Week

This week note is late, as is my reflection. When you think about it though, what is a week anyway? We shall say it is when YOU decide when your weekdays begin and when your weekend is over. And Tuesday seems to be a day as good as any for a weekend.

Life

There was a guilt ridden goodbye to my parent's home where I was an adult-sitter. Eager to resume my normalcy, I flew back to Goa. This normalcy is essential for a greater sense of accountability, which is a concept I held for 10 years and have lost it in the gold mine of free time. Do people not understand how incredibly easy it is to not do anything when the pressure or requirement to do something is only internal? And not "I have to feed myself" internal in the gut but "I must find my life's purpose" internal in the mind, the kind that is supposed to feed your soul. Yes, I say supposed, because you know what also feeds the soul? Doing nothing, wrapped in a cosy throw and serving oneself reheated momos in a sauce that you made in 3 minutes as that is the most you bothered to do for yourself that day.

The other day I was lamenting to Ru that I am hungry, happy-bored, seeking activities like a child in a playschool. This is opposed to my usual mode of sad-bored or happy-busy. What a day it gave me! A puzzle, video game, a new mobile game I rediscovered called Plague Inc where you create a bacteria and spread it across the world. There were 4 meals, and 2 coffees, both delightfully made by other people.

The week began with a pottery class that Smr took me too. What I made is between me, god and the bystanders. What I broke is within me. The whole concept of pottery is fascinating, I feel so human while making things with my own hands, to look at them and know if I tried, I can make a sculpture of my illicit dreams, or an ashtray. The lack of knowledge on how to turn a thought into a real thing, piled on by the lack of focussed teaching in the class has driven me nuts. Currently, I am less talented than the Neanderthals. A potter cannot be too far away from their wheel, and with that I shall return to play, with clay, and make tools and ashtrays that shame smokers who visit me.

In the flight to Mumbai I recognised someone, but as it was before 8AM I opted to omit small talk on both of us.

So I went to Mumbai

Many countable hours were spent in Mumbai. A good decision was made to meet a beloved creature, Shre, which was enhanced by the presence of their sister Sne. We were joined by good conversation and gleeful sounds. Bougee cafe near "Pali Hill", a name I have only before seen in a movie, served good flat white and eggs that Shre did not let me pay for. They bargained with "You can host me when I am in Goa" and I have already made a note in my journal to take this love-revenge on them.

After enjoying reliable eggs, I moved on to meet a rare kind of friend, the work friend, Mo. To see them in the wild, in a new environment, to see how they wear clothes and talk and smile and laugh with me, it was a revelation. It brought me so much joy to share this time with her. Taking a chance at closeness made the trip to Mumbai worth it. Add in a work meeting, and I had a justified extravagance. Mo and I also met our ex-department head and another colleague. And it is with great pleasure that I announce, no they did not remember me. So I felt "fuck it" and left them with a memory of me recounting at least one Haryana centric female infanticide joke.

A surprising new learning was that I am not suited to meet English people, as I am brimming with colonialism jibes and remarks. They cannot even be called jokes. Certainly there was a real attempt at feeling guilt about such a behaviour, but like men on first dates, it is all inauthentic.

Mumbai opened my eyes to fashionable bags, which I saw everywhere. Within hours of reaching Mumbai, I was craving something that said "Cavalli" in bold letters.

Work is worship lol

Case studies, a new website landing page, an "imma cool girl" vibe but balanced with professionalism, these have been my accomplishments on the work front.

Culture consumption

We all want impossible things was a meaningful book to read. It might seem too sad, the C (cancer) word is a premise, but essentially it is about two friends. As I only read it in public spaces, I could not escape tears. My throat was choked several times, and the traumatic meal from Popeye's Chicken was not the lone cause. The book did not resemble any kind of trauma porn. It was a beautiful, simple story that felt real and I was unsurprised to learn it was based on the author's own experiences.

No movies this week. Aren't I a rebel without a cause?

There is a fellow on Youtube who reads books, by himself, on video. No this is not a popular channel. No this is probably not making him any money. Yes it is shameful to think one would use these platforms only to profit.

The song Psycho Killer by Talking Heads was released in 1977. The official video was released four days ago. It is easy to relate to the video. Even I could find resemblance in a time where I cried out to Ru "if I have to speak to a single client, I might stab myself in the eye". This song gets a mention as I have been recognising it whenever, wherever it plays, in film or tv. My recognition began with this scene in Mindhunter, a solid way to end an episode and declare the weight of all there is to come for these characters. So I thought to note a few notable mentions of this scenes that made me go "its the song its the song!"

May you get no psycho killers in person,

Nats

Other Writings
The concept of comment section is broken. If you have thoughts you'd like to share with me, try email.
Reply via email

P.S. Not one sentence began with an "I".

Hey, I made this bread button below. Toast it, toast it now!